I like lists. I don’t use them as often as I know would be helpful, but I like them nonetheless. Need? Want? Need…no want, on and on in my head arguing with what is now my inner guardian of the budget. I was abruptly pulled from my inner dialogue and stopped to notice a really amazing looking teen girl shopping with her mom. Need, want, need, want played out in my inner sanctum mixed with longing for my own young adult to play with. Missing mine, I have become a bit of voyeur with mother daughter teens playing out their ambitious roles as each jockeyed for their needs and wants. Most of the time I just smile and feel for the mom and want to tell her it will pass, if she does not already know this from having been there before.
What I heard was a very clear and well-executed statement by a young women no older then 14 who in fact stated her feelings, needs and requests so clearly I wanted to clap for her. Her manner of communication was impeccable so I pulled up a seat (preverbal) and was ready to hear how this was going to play out.
With that kind of skill I was sure mom could bring that or better to the table so again ready to cheer mom on I waited. Then it came, the blow, the heart wrenching blow that not only brought slight tears of empathy to my eyes but a real ache in my heart. “What the hell are you talking about?” Mom was not going there. In fact, the more skill this beautiful, powerful and self-articulate young woman showed the more fear came over mom. Mom did not have this skill and it was in fact learned somewhere else. School maybe?
That is in fact what the argument was about. She wanted to get home to do her homework and mom was not leaving this sale until she had killed it. So this ingenious young woman got on her phone to call a friend to study with but of course the phone was taken away and she went back to hanging up clothes that were not placed back properly by mom.
It took only an isle or two in the department store to receive and witness all of this. Turns out we were sharing a small space to begin with and it is my custom to pick everything up and look at it if it’s marked more then 50% off and this was in fact moms strategy for shopping as well.
As I looked around trying to reprise my need, want, need want debate, I was interrupted by a very loud voice, “Yours to say.” As I moved past this duo having completed my entire search of the 50% off aisles, I leaned in and spoke softly to the daughter, “Don’t worry Honey,” I said. “You will grow up and be gone before you know it and the world is ready for you. Don’t change a thing; just keep speaking your truth. We need you out there.”
And walking away I claimed it for her…
“And so it is,” I said out loud smiling my way to the 25% off aisle.
I really enjoyed that observation. I find it beautiful that you received a confirmation que to speak to the hurt young girl. I usually smile and walk away feeling the pain of the child on me even after I whisper a little prayer. You are so blessed to have open auditory communion with your guiding lights.